Hi Honey, Sorry I have not written you this week, It has been a very busy and tiring week for me. I started work on Monday with State at the DCS office in Cocke Co. I think I'm gonna like it alot. I hope so anyway. The pay is good and the benefits are great. I only wish you were here to share this little piece of happiness with me. I had to find a job to keep from going crazy sitting here alone all day while the kids are in school, I need to be around other people and you know that I've always loved working with at-risk children. It will help fill my empty days, but not the nights. The boys and I dread the next few days and getting through Christmas without you. A few churche have apoted them for Christmas, and I bought them a WII game console that they have wanted for so long, they really looked forward to playing it with you though, try as I ight , there are some things that I'll never be able to replace doing with them that you did, and I know it is very hard on them. It's just still not really sunk in yet, and somehow I really don;t want it to. I'm afraid when I finally accept it, I'll go crazy. I keep waiting on you to come home, there is so much I want to talk to you about at the end of every day and tell you I love you at night (which I still do anyway). I'm still in denial I quess, and so numb that i won't let my self feel much. Whenever I think of you never cmminig home, I mae myself think of something else. I' m just not ready to let you go yet. Christmas is in a couple of days and I dread it so much!!!!! I hope you are here with us in spirt and that we will be able to be comforted my knowingthat you are, just as Jordan was on his birthday. Thank you for that, it meant so much to him. Well sweetheart it's late and I'm very tired and need to get some rest, the boys will be up soon and they drain about all my energy with all we have going on in our lives right now. But I promise to always make time for you, until next time.... I LOVE YOU.