Today is our 18th anniversary, or would have been. My thoughts have been at the beach all day where we got married, I got our wedding tape out to watch, but could not bring myself to watch it. It has been a hard day today, I have been trying to stay busy so I won't cry so much. You have been gone over 9 months now and it is still hard for me to believe, I keep looking over at your chair expecting to see you there, I stll can't accept the thought we will never grow old together, or that you will not be able to see the boys graduate or get married or even see our grand children. The boys are growing so fast, Jordan started High school this week, I cried after I let him out, knowing how proud you would be of him now. Cody is going into the 8th grade and I will have to go though this all over agian by myself with him next year. Prety soon they will move on with their own lives and I am so afraid of being alone. I miss you so much! And thanks for the card.... I found it 2 days ago when cleaning Cody's room, one fro our 2nd anniversary, I had been thinking about it coming up all day that day and found the card, you always let me know somehow that you are still with us in smalll ways, but it is not the same. I'm still in disbelief that you are never coming back, I'm so lost and alone.